A body Without its soul

This few days I've been in a 'body without soul' condition...
I don't know what make me or cause me to be like this...
But I don't like being this way...

I've been thinking quite a lot this few days...
Something is currently bothering me at this moment...
But I'm not sure what it is..

There are too much worries I'm having now...
My academic...My results are going down the slope without stopping...
My future....No bright light shine it to guide me with...
My life...boring and without colour that make it become more beautiful and interesting....

Sometimes I've been thinking...I like maths...and always will do...
But how come my maths are becoming worse and worse???I even forget what teacher taught today....Why??Is there something wrong with me???Am I too pressuring myself??
I don't know..What I know is I'm getting worse than ever...

My life...Uncolourful...Is that true???
No fun??No joy???
I bet I have been through this but sometimes I just feel lonely...very lonely..
Is it too protecting myself will become lonely sometimes???
I don't know..I'm not sure...

I'm becoming like unsociable now...I'm too tired of everything...
Or I can said that I'm running away from my trouble???I'm fear to face it??
Is that true???

I just don't know....
Everything that I've done are not going well as I wanted to....
Like now,I realize that my English are terrible...It doesn't seems to be fluent when I read it out loud...
Technically proven that my grammar are getting worse and worse...
But how come I'm so lazy to learn everything??Or am I tired of everything...
I'm just 19 years old...Am I suppose to be tired???
NO!!Cause I still have a long way to go...right??

I don't like to be this way..So I'm gonna be myself again after I'm done with my thinking....^^

Cheer For myself!!!